Helpful hints for Dementia Caregivers?

Even little hints that will make life easier will be most helpful.

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  • Take your client out for a walk each day and their dog too. And have scents, spices, & music that is familiar with their culture  out a few hours during each day, it breaks the day up with pleasantness for everyone.  Include your client in light conversations, it enables them to be engaged  and feel safe, occasionally bring little gifts, and leave treats in near unexpected places.  In the native american community people often  adopt an elder person and come to visit as family and paying it forward and keeping the community strong.

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    • Nancy Brooke Mathers  My Mother is not walking now for some reason she just stop and took to the bed.  I would love to put her in the wheel chair and take out strolling just to enjoy the sunshine.  I know she would love it but it is so hard for me along to safely move her from the bed to chair.  So I make the time worth our visit by talking to her, singing and asking her questions to see how she response and watch the expression on her face.

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  • Lots of great ideas. Unfortunately, my family member can barely take 1/2 step now & we still hold him up to walk from bed to chair & back several times a day. We leave music on most of the day and talk to him as if he does understand everything, although sometimes I'm sure he doesn't.  He talks some, not conversations, just comments. And when he says, "I love you, baby", that makes my day and still pulls me down to him for a sweet kiss. Hold onto everything dear and don't let go for as long as you can.

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    • Carolyn Cox My mother is bed bound and we try to put on familiar music for her to reminisce for her generation. Some days she remembers more than others, but she always taps her foot when the music is on. We alternate that with watching movies; generally something bright because she cant follow the story line well anymore. She enjoys Rio, Ice Age; and most anything with dancing, children, or animals. She has stuffed animals that she "works" on as well (this gives her something to do with her hands) since she was a seamstress, craftier, all around do it yourself-er. And you are right, always talk to them as if they understand everything, because most of the time they do, they just can't articulate back. I also love the days when I get kisses! All the Best.

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    • DARLENE HERPS  My mother is also bed bound and I try to visit her weekly she is 95 and she love for you to talk to her as an adult.  Do not sugar coat the conservation with her this is her time she can communicate with you and response back like an adult from Harvard.

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  • One of the hints I learned is never to argue with them. They know what stage of life they are at in any time frame. They must always be right.

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    • Bonnie Ruhoff 

      Yes. Don't argue.  I try to tell myself that I don't have to be right.  I let her calm down and then go back and get her to laugh.  I keep thinking how it would feel knowing your mind was going.

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  • My husband thought the man in the mirror was another person & he talked to him quite regularly. One day I stood behind him, he looked at me then saw me in the mirror. I explained that is me in the mirror beside him and that is him in the mirror.  He looked back & forth several times & actually "got it" for the moment. 

    The man in the mirror put bad ideas in his head, such as someone was trying to get him. I covered the mirrors & solved that issue. He was more calm after not getting bad advice anymore.

    And, yes, you are 100% right on the money. No amount of disagreement  can convince a dementia patient  that what they think is not true.  The best thing to do is try to change the subject to get their mind away from anxious thoughts.

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  • The best thing we came across to help us out with a parent who has this was a support group in our local church.

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    • Toni Irvine   Don't know how I could cope without my "circle of strength."  Our senior center has organized support groups all over the county.  They are wonderful.  If one is a caregiver, one NEEDS support of all kinds.  Just being with others who share the same situations for an hour or two every week or every month is such a huge blessing.

      Like 1
  • Bonnie Ruhoff said:
    They know what stage of life they are at in any time frame. They must always be right.

     Oh boy...this is SO true!  I like the way you worded it, though...your thoughts traveled from my head to my heart.  It has changed my behavior, which is the only thing I can change around here!  Now, where's that duct tape, so I can keep my lips sealed?

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    • Leslie Menges  Oh my God So So True.  As I set and watch my mother who is a godly person one who loves the Lord and her church.  I love the word her thoughts traveled from my head to my heart all I can say is Thank you JESUS!!! this is how I make it threw the day when we are together.

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    • Leslie Menges I’m just starting this adventure with my husband and been thinking that kindly and simply telling him the truth was a good thing. NOT !

      I can relate to “where’s the Duct Tape” ! 😂

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    • Nancy Rogers 

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    • Nancy Rogers 

      A friend helped me with the idea of ‘compassionate deception’ and ‘therapeutic fibbing,’ when she said, “ if telling them the truth gets them anxious, upset...even combative, why would we do that?  Just work within their world, and carry on in yours!”  Ive repeated that many times; not only to others, but to myself too!

      Like 1
  • The one thing I was most proud of in regards to my participation in my mother's life who had dementia, was about twice a week I would take her for rides through the country.  We would start at McDonalds, get a large strawberry milkshake, then I would travel back roads that would circle around lakes or climb into mountains...inevitably something of interest would flash before us, deer, wild turkeys, horses, cows, goats, beautiful scenery.  The thing was, it was a pleasure for both of us.

    In addition, I always had a  personal goal of my own on these excursions like eventually getting to a store where I needed something.  Sometimes mom would wait in the car, or sometimes she would sit on  a bench watching the bustle of customers inside the store.  I often brought back a little block of cheese with crackers and she would munch happily on our return trip back to her assisted living home.  My love for my mom deepened with these trips. 

    The beauty of these excursions is there is no need to feel you have to engage your loved one while you are with them.  The passing scenery is the engagement. Conversation that does arise is usually effortless because my mother's concerns were brought up within the flow of her stream of consciousness, not mine.  She would talk for awhile and eventually meander off to view the scenery or sip her drink.

    Like 9
    • Greg Miner  Yes I do agree with you my mother love the ride in the country site seeing and I really enjoy the ride and the time with her.  She loves to have lunch at Burger King and always let's go to Dairy Queen for a milkshake.  I love her sweet spirit.

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    • Greg Miner I love your story about your mom.  I just found out I have moderate dementia and Im scared of my future.  

      Like 1
  • good ideas

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  • A book " I Can't Fix It by Alan Martin " Really helped me survive caregiving my wife 

    with Alzheimer's for 15 years. It will help you too. Search Amazon, Bookrix and others.

    Like 1
    • David
    • Terry_Saragosa
    • 5 yrs ago
    • Reported - view

    I take care of my mom full time. I take my mom out with me when the weather is nice we live in Arizona. The weather is nice here most of the time.  When  it's cold outside I'll do the cooking. Mom will look outside at the cars and people sometime show underlying magazines. When it's nice out I'll take her to the senior citizen place and have lunch with her and she enjoys talking and seeing everyone there. I keep her busy I take her to the malls I take her out to eat. I take her to the tailgate parties the football games. I'll take her to the Kingdom Hall where everyone loves to come up and visit with her and she really enjoys it.  I take care of my mom 24 hours a day. I had her in a Skilled Nursing Facility also known as a nursing home she got three bed sores it took me a over a year to get rid of them. I promise I would never send your back I'm so thankful she doesn't have any bed sores yes I do get up and turn her every couple of hours at night keep her clean it's a full-time job.

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    • Terry Saragosa 

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    • ann lavigne  Hi Terry. I was just thinking about how exhausted you must be all the time. I hope you get a little time to yourself, just to relax or do something enjoyable. Your mom is very lucky to have you. 

      Like 1
      • Gina Boyd
      • Gina_Boyd
      • 4 yrs ago
      • Reported - view

      Terry Saragosa  I just looked up bed sore prevention. They have air mattress that rotate the pressure and you just put it over her mattress and it comes with a pump. They are about $70-$100. This might allow you to get a full nights rest and help put your mind at ease.

      Like 1
    • Gina Boyd 

      yes I bought alternating  air bubble mattress topper head to toe length and it’s good, even the visiting home health nurse for my mom love it!

      Like 1

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