Denial of Mother in law having Alzheimers
I guess I am not feeling resentment for the Alzheimer's she has, but the lack of her sons, one my husband, because they do nothing to truly help her, but leave her at her own place of residence. And they have chosen this because of concern over inheritance issues. So, is this caring for her or just being selfish on their part?
I find myself resentful and quite angry they do nothing or at least lay down the law, that she is not living alone anymore and it will change no matter if it uses some of the inheritance, just so she is monitored and watched and cared for. But I hear, They can do nothing...
I am the one who runs her to and from appointments or they abuse church members to run her errands and she complains she has to pay these people occasionally, his mother. I even have taken her to driving tests, which she should not drive.
yesterday, she forgot our daughters name, whom she has known 16 yrs! and she spoke to our 31 yr old son in her native tongue, Portuguese and yet she has been in the U.S. for over 50 years and knows English. And my husband just ignores it and keeps things the same, she lives at her house. When confronted he does not want to talk about it or says he can do nothing.
I believe my husband is in denial and his brother is just greedy. We were going to get a house with her, but the brother, cried to his Mom about "what about his inheritance?"
So the move was put a hault. And she also would find things wrong with houses we found because she never wanted to move in the first place, but continues to complain that she is forgetting things more or accuses people of stealing things, yet she throws them away or misplaces them.
I am frustrated! I have aging parents myself and none of my siblings have treated them so poorly. In fact my parents are living with my sister and we all take time to see them and will take care of them if they need it. I honestly think my husband and his brother are mean by letting her live alone when she should not.
I think they are in denial.
I am feeling powerless and frustrated.