How to get brother diagnosed?

Hello to all.  My heart goes out to everyone affected by these nasty diseases.

If anyone has any suggestions for my situation, I'd love to hear them.

My brother is a very young and healthy 78 year old.  Up until 6 mos  ago he was an avid walker, wood carver, sports enthusiast. Now he goes nowhere, sits on the couch and watches tv or puts his head in his hands staring at the floor.  He has dropped all clean hygiene, does not shave, shower, wash his hair, gets belligerent with his wife and sometimes really loud and curses at her.  Forgets if he has eaten 10 minutes after he eats.  Wife makes appts. for doctors and dentists, and at the last minute says he is not going.  He doesn't want to leave the house.  He talks to me on the phone for 2 minutes and tries to sound as though nothing is wrong, thus, the 2 minute converstion.

He tells his wife she is lying, there's nothing wrong with him, he wont see a doctor.

She is 74 and at her wit's end.  She believes she is taking good care of him by giving him a thousand different supplements.  I feel so bad for her, but there isn't much I can except listen, visit, they wont come over to any family function.   They are getting more and more isolated everyday.

I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I wish there was some way to get him to a doctor.  Medication does help in most cases, right?  He has to have tests run, be diagnosed, right?  I don't know how to help them.  It hurts to see my big brother fading away and nothing being done to help him, or her.

2replies Oldest first
  • Oldest first
  • Newest first
  • Active threads
  • Popular
  • Hi Alena!  I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.  My aunt has Dementia (Alzheimers) and I've been her POA for two years now.  I understand what you are going through.  She's always been like a second mom to me and it's extremely hard to see her decline.  I had to find a memory care facility for her.  I've also sat in on a lot of doctor appointments with her.  If you haven't already, reach out to your local Alzheimers or Dementia association.  They may have suggestions for you.  Sometimes local support groups can help too.  You are in a tough spot.  One thing I have noticed with Dementia patients is that they are very stubborn and really have no idea what is happening to them.

    Good luck! Mary Murphy

    Like 1
  • Hi, Alena: My heart goes out to you. Seeing a loved one suffering with dementia is an awful thing. It may seem an impossible task, but it is vitally important to get your brother to a good geriatrician (a doctor who treats seniors). It sounds as if he is aware of what is happening to his mind and is depressed in addition to developing some sort of dementia.

    A good doctor will order an MRI to determine if the problem is being caused by a stroke or other types of dementia. Depression can be helped with medication, and so can Alzheimer’s. However, not all types of dementia can be helped by medication, so a diagnosis needs to be made. Maybe the family can help your sister-in-law get your brother to a doctor.

    You and your sister-in-law are going through a tremendously stressful time, and you both need all the love and support you can get. Do you have a local Alzheimer’s and Dementia office?  It can be a great resource. And if there is an Alzheimer’s support group in your area it can be the best place to share your feelings and learn how to handle the challenges you are faced with now.  My husband has dementia, and dealing with him would be impossible for me without the AD organization and the local support group.

    Wishing you the best,



Shop Our Store


Read Our Google Customer Reviews.

Betty's Top 100 Lists:

Like Follow
  • 3 yrs agoLast active
  • 2Replies
  • 263Views
  • 5 Following

Shop Our Store

Shop at Betty Mills

Read Our Google Customer Reviews.

Betty's Top 100 Lists: