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As a stroke survivor of 25 years. I've been through the mill on a lot of these issues. Having progressive MS and 2 strokes. At this point I'm quadriplegic and spend a lot of time in bed. I'm both complete bladder & bowel incontinent. I need 24/7 care from home care aides and My husband. Incontinence is tough on skin. The barrier creams ointments etc all help. But skin needs to breath. Most days at home if I'm just in bed. I lay on a incontinence pad. And wear nothing. Its best for My skin. I have not had any major rashs or sores in a long time. I only need to wear a diaper if I'm in My wheelchair and out of our home. Or through the night. The better quality briefs are also better for Your skin as the wick the urine away from the skin better. And changing as soon as possible after a bowel event.
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At this point I have no bladder or bowel control. For years. we used various forms of cathing for My bladder. And I mostly was able to maintain a bowel program. But eventually all the UTIs from cathing. And I eventually required a feeding tube. Which caused My bowels to operate in a constant state of mild diarrhea. So for a couple years. I have needed to wear adult diapers.